Looking For Love

So many of us are looking for love. Although many of us have found love, true love is not the definition of what we believe it to be. I feel happy and in love with my husband all the time, but anyone who has ever been married or been in love with someone knows that it has it’s ups and downs. Why? Because we change and we change how we feel, what we believe, how we act, etc. So, why do so many of us still have that longing for something more? When we seek God’s love in our lives, why do we still, at times, feel like we are missing something? Is it because we are ever changing and once we feel we’ve had our fill, we stop seeking? Or is it that we start listening to others, like in our own relationships, and let other’s opinions ruin our relationship with God? I don’t have all of the answers, but I know I have often felt the pain and heartache that I shouldn’t have to. If I just focused on my relationship with God instead of letting others determine the way my relationship should go, things would go much smoother. This is exactly what I have decided to do and share with you! So if you’re still looking for love, listen to this song…I love it.

Looking For Love – Trip Lee featuring J.R.

You’re Not Fat, You’re Beautiful!

I was never someone who struggled with my weight, until I had kids. Am I large? No. I have been told by many that I “look good” for someone who has had four kids. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle everyday with my weight. Why is that though? So many of us women are okay with how we look, until we turn on the TV, stand in line looking at all of the physically fit models on the magazines, and younger, more fit women we see everyday, or the way people treat those who may be more fit than us.

I was one of those “size zero” girls until I was 20 years old and was always told that I needed to eat. Problem was I ate all of the time, any and every thing, and never gained any weight. Now that I have four children, I have struggled to get rid of the “baby fat” that has accumulated in my stomach. There are far many other women who have eating disorders and other more serious issues that may require some professional help, but I do have the power to change my circumstances and so do you! It begins with you admitting your issues and telling someone you need help, but you have to really want it!

I am not here to say that you have to be a size zero, but we can be healthy! All of us come in different shapes, sizes, etc. So, just for those of you who don’t feel beautiful, here’s a little something that might just lift your spirits and get you a little more motivated than you have been! Even if the world calls us fat or doesn’t like the way we look, remember, we are God’s beautiful creation… “This planet is His canvas, and you His Mona Lisa”

PRo – Beautiful

PRo no longer goes by that name. He is now Derek Minor and is part of the 116 Clique. If you don’t know who they are, Google them. Lyrics to the song are posted below the video.

[Chorus – PK]
Something like my Maker, I say you the best
I know you can’t see it all by yourself
But you are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
‘Cause God ain’t made you like anybody else
Don’t let nobody tell you that you anything less
‘Cause you are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, yeah

[Verse 1 – PRo]
She check out her reflection in the mirror
But some reason, she don’t see that beauty is in the picture
Thinking her image flawed ‘cause he ain’t made her like these models
Or her figure’s a mistake, he only making Coke bottles
Naw, Coke bottles are plastic
Mannequins are plastic but you are fantastic
She don’t believe it so it’s driving her insane
This diet don’t seem to work, she eating to ease the pain
The world tell her that somehow she doesn’t matter
Besides, the perfect girls live happily ever after.
No idea she been crafted by the Master
Uniquely in his image baby, that is no disaster

[Chorus – PK]
Something like my Maker, I say you the best
I know you can’t see it all by yourself
But you are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
‘Cause God ain’t made you like anybody else
Don’t let nobody tell you that you anything less
‘Cause you are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, yeah

[Verse 2 – PRo]
She begging for a hero, but villains is all she see though
Thinks she’s less than other people, she is a size zero
Her ribs touching, not ‘cause of a lack of food
But after every meal, she heads to the bathroom
Stick her finger down her throat, thinking that will give her hope
If her weight will never grow, maybe they will love her more
On a journey to acceptance ‘cause she ain’t been there before
She ain’t perfect, and commercials do their best to let her know
But if she only knew who she was in God’s view
Made his children with a purpose, girl and that includes you
Let this statement give you comfort boo, ‘cause that includes truth
God is in love with you, you ain’t gotta look far for proof

[Chorus – PK]
Something like my Maker, I say you the best
I know you can’t see it all by yourself
But you are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
‘Cause God ain’t made you like anybody else
Don’t let nobody tell you that you anything less
‘Cause you are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, yeah

[Verse 3 – PRo]
I wrote this for you, this is your song
You his baby doll, I know I ain’t wrong
Beauty’s from the Creator, and it ain’t measured in weight
You are great just how you are, I don’t care what that TV say
Your DNA is complete, his artistry’s in your genes
That don’t make him less creative ‘cause you don’t fit in them jeans
You ain’t got a clue the way he see you
This planet is his canvas, and you his Mona Lisa …

[Chorus – PK]
Something like my Maker, I say you the best
I know you can’t see it all by yourself
But you are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
‘Cause God ain’t made you like anybody else
Don’t let nobody tell you that you anything less
‘Cause you are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, yeah

It’s Hard Losing Someone You Love!

This weekend was really tough for me. I saw that one of my old jr. high/high school friends (who I had not been around since high school) passed away (on my husband’s birthday). Having not been there for many years and just finally reconnecting through Facebook and seeing his condition and then getting word that he had passed brought up a lot of emotions. It may seem weird to some to know that I was extremely emotional, especially because I wasn’t even as close to him as those who have been there for him. But I tell you, death has a way of bringing up some emotions you may have suppressed for many years.

When I was about 11, I remember my Grandpa passing away. Since then, I have put away my feelings of sadness and always tried to cover them up with happy thoughts and put on a smile. It was hard for me then, and even more difficult for me to deal with now. I just lost my other Grandpa last year, August 3, 2012 to be exact. It was also difficult because I never got the chance to say goodbye. So, of course, like I said before, some may feel that I shouldn’t even feel the way I do about someone I hadn’t been around since high school. Sometimes people leave an impression on your heart, even from far away. Seeing how many people were always around him, knowing we had the same mutual friends, seeing the love others had for him, knowing we were both Gemini’s (it’s really a Gemini thing), and the way he was always an uplifting spirit and could tell you like it is at any given moment, definitely left me with something. One thing I can honestly say that I learned from him, even at a distance, was that we need to be strong! Live a fun life and always live to your full potential! I remember one of his last posts saying that although he was sick, he was still the same person!

To any of his family and close friends who are reading this, I would just like to say that I am so sorry for your loss. It has been tough on me from far away and not having had the chance to say goodbye, so for you all, I’m sure it’s even more difficult because you were able to know such a wonderful, strong person. I will continue to pray for you and your loss! One thing I’m leaving you with today is a song. It’s by Mercy Me, called Homesick. It’s about losing our loved ones and being homesick for our next home (heaven) because our loved ones are there! I know my grandparents and Joe are looking down on us and will be there to greet us all when we are also called home!

Mercy Me – Homesick

My Love Story, Married For 10 Years

In honor of mine and my husband’s 10 year wedding anniversary tomorrow, August 23, 2013, I am going to share with you some of the songs that make up a part of the soundtrack of our life! I know I usually share my faith and of course as we have grown over the years, our faith has grown stronger. Here are some of the things I’d like to share! I’m excited to share them with you!

This song by Jagged Edge was a song that my husband dedicated to me when we were dating. I remember being at my good friend Keishana’s house and he called me on my phone just to tell me he loved me and dedicated this song to me. I know it sounds cheesy, but how many of you men did special similar things for the special lady in your life? Okay, not so cheesy now is it? LOL. But seriously, loved it and the words stuck with me forever! I held him to it too!

Jagged Edge – I Gotta Be

Okay, so we had a rough area in our dating relationship, where we were apart for a few months. Most of my friends didn’t know that I was dating Leotis in my senior year of high school, but then broke up a couple of months before prom. Of course, I was devastated and felt so sad that I had lost the one I really loved. I didn’t want him to get away. I ended up going to prom with someone else, and then we ended up having dinner at a place where Leotis had previously worked. To make matters worse, the guy that went with me to prom actually wanted to be in a relationship. That just didn’t sit well with me. Obviously it didn’t because I started ‘Smokin’ Cigarettes at night’ lol.

Tweet – Smokin Cigarettes

So, one day as I was leaving work and locking up, I see a car, similar to Leotis’ and hear music playing. I see a guy get out of the car with a single rose in his hand and this song playing. Of course we were meant to be!

Case – I’m Missing You

We knew we loved each other, so one day, April 1, 2003 to be exact (April Fool’s Day) he asked me to marry him. Funny thing is, we had ordered a pizza at my parent’s house, which is where I lived until the day we said I do, and when I turned around from getting the pizza, he was on one knee proposing. I thought he was joking and then when he pulled the ring out of his pocket, I was jumping up and down (pizza still in my hand) and said YES! Four months later, on August 23, 2003 we were married. We went back to my parent’s house for the wedding reception and had our first dance as a married couple. This was the song we chose and yes, we still listen to this song and remember how awkward we felt as everyone watched us dance! Now we laugh at how silly it was for us to be nervous.

Donnell Jones – I Wanna Luv You

Okay, so I’m going to fast forward quite a few years just because this was when we had our first three kids and started realizing that we just might not be the most “hip” parents after all. And after using the word hip, well, you get what I’m saying right? Anyway, trying to do this dance for me and my husband wasn’t difficult, but it was just funny when we were actually doing the dance. We were telling each other that we need to stay up on the dances so that our kids wont think we’re unhip! There goes that word again, and I’m sure we’ll be pretty unhip to them until they become adults and have some kids of their own.

GS Boyz – Stanky Legg

Now I wonder how many of you were actually doing the Stanky Legg or at least trying it while watching the video!!

Really, I just wanted to share a little bit with you of how we first got together. The rest is history, and if I put every song on here that we loved or that played an important part in our relationship, well, we’d be here for another 10 years! So we’re going to live another 10 years with new music and some new memories!

Can’t wait to share with you our experience on the Hot Air Balloon ride on Saturday! Thanks for listening/reading!

Review This (Part 9 of Many)! *I Bet You Don’t Curse God*

Christina Grimmie, someone I have been subscribed to on YouTube for quite a few years now! I have seen her grow from doing covers on YouTube, to performing with Selena Gomez, and now an album! She is simply amazing! A great singer/songwriter/musician! She is simply amazing and hearing this song “I Bet You Don’t Curse God”, has inspired me even more! I love this song from beginning to end. If you are into vocals, you have to listen to the end. It’s simple, but she throws out something that shows you she is a complete genius when it comes to arranging her own vocals! Love this girl, and the lyrics are posted below the video!

The message in her song reminds me of how much we take God for granted until we are really in a desperate situation. We should always remember to call on God, even when times are easy instead of only when they’re tough. It’s like asking someone to do you a favor when you haven’t even talked to them in a while or only when you need something… We should remember how it feels to be on that end and get to know God more closely. When He is there in the good times, He will make it easier and you won’t even have to ask Him to be there in the bad times! He’ll simply carry you through them!

Christina Grimmie – I Bet You Don’t Curse God

Lyrics:

I bet You don’t curse god.
When the Doctor calls with a stern voice
and test results
and he asks You to come in right away.
I bet You don’t curse God.
When you’re on a plane in a turbulance, pourin’ rain
And you’re hoping that you’ll make it out okay.

Everybody cries, We’ve all faked a smile.
When your back’s against the wall
and your hands are tied.

There’s pain, Life hurts,
There’s a thousand things You think You don’t deserve.
All hope is lost
When You spend it all and You just can’t beat the odds.
I bet You don’t curse God.
I bet You don’t curse God.

I bet You don’t curse God when your child is gone
And he ain’t picking up the phone
And it’s 2am on a Saturday in July.
I bet you don’t curse God at your bottom ine
and your credit cards are all declined,
And you don’t know where you’re gonna sleep tonight.

Everybody cries, We’ve all faked a smile.
When your back’s against the wall
and your hands are tied.

There’s pain, Life hurts,
There’s a thousand things You think You don’t deserve.
All hope is lost
When You spend it all and You just can’t beat the odds.
I bet You don’t curse God.
Oh, I bet You don’t curse God.

I bet you don’t curse god when you’re dying in bed
About to take your one last breath
and you’re holding on before you say goodnight.

There’s pain, Life hurts,
There’s a thousand things You think you don’t deserve.
When All hope is lost
When You spend it all
and You just can’t beat the odds.
I bet You don’t curse… GOD.
I bet You don’t curse… GOD.
I bet you don’t curse God.

Review This (Part 8 of Many)! **This is for you today**

With so much hurt, pain, and sadness going on in the world today, it can bring your current situation to a more depressing level. You hear it all the time, people ending their own lives because the pressure is too much or the pain is unbearable. With the problems I am currently facing, it can take it’s toll on even the most encouraging, uplifting person (not saying that I’m the most encouraging or uplifting), but I definitely have been struggling this past week with some deep feelings. Feelings that involve something that has never been resolved completely. As a result, there have been times when I feel like I’m harboring resentment and anger, when I always talk about not harboring those feelings. I have not acted out towards those who have hurt me, but instead, I have fallen into a place where I still let things suppress who I am and how I really feel. Sometimes, the pain and memories are too much to bear and bringing up the issues to resolve them feels like it will take too much out of me and I end up walking away, leaving the things unresolved. Even though I KNOW those things are NOT my fault in any way, I still seem to feel the responsibility of exposing the truth and lies that have been told for many years. But I must leave that all up to God!

By feeling this way, I have been asking God to remove this pain and hurt from me and to draw me closer to Him. Then I remembered this song. It’s a song that I have listened to for years and it always seemed to get me through my toughest of times. I am not alone in this and I know that this song is for me today, as well as you! This song lets me know that all I have to do is keep praying and God will get me through even the toughest times. I remember a few times that I thought I was at my worst and things would never end, but I can look back now and see that it really wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be and I made it through!

OUT OF EDEN – Draw You Near

*lyrics are posted below the video*

Lyrics:

I woke up on this morning
And misery surrounds me
And I am forced to face a day
I didn’t even want to begin

God knows I’m going through it
And it’s hard to imagine I can take it this time
As my sadness mounts I pray that this day would end
Cry myself to sleep and then start again

When the world loses its luster
And you’re feeling sad and lonely
And you need someone to be there
In your time of need, time of need

You can turn your eyes to the Heavens
And their creator’s watching on you
With arms of love to hold you
And draw you near

You’re in the midst of heartache
Perhaps you’ve lost a loved one
Lost all your faith can barely pray
For the strength you need to go on

Well darling don’t give up now
I know that inevitably this too shall pass
Trouble doesn’t last always hold on through the pain
I believe the sun will outlast your rain

When the world loses it’s luster
And you’re feeling sad and lonely
And you need someone to be there
In your time of need, time of need

You can turn your eyes to the Heavens
And their creator’s watching on you
With arms of love to hold you
And draw you near

Draw you near

Ooh, just to take the pain away
Ooh, so you can see a brighter day
Oh, I know you can find the strength
That you need to get you through what you’re going through
So when the world seems to crash down on you

Don’t worry, no matter
He hears you, keep praying
Don’t worry, no matter
He hears you, keep praying

When, no, no, no
All you gotta do is call
And my God, He will be there
When you’re down and out
When you’re feeling lonely
Keep praying

Draw you closer yeah
Draw you closer

Ooh, all you gotta do is call
Oh yeah
And He will be there for you
Turn your eyes
Oh
With arms of love
Ooh

Don’t worry, no matter
He hears you, keep praying
Don’t worry, no matter
He hears you, keep praying

Review This (Part 7 of Many)!

Let’s just begin with this today! I know I talk a lot about God and sometimes for others it can be overwhelming. Some people look at me and say that I think I’m better than someone who doesn’t believe in God or is, I guess, in between. Or they look at me and say that I’m too overpowering with what I believe. Some may even say that I put on a front and a show for others, and that no one can truly be happy living the way I live my life. Some people look at me, not always in a negative way, but give me encouragement and tell me to continue to be who I am. Sometimes it’s not easy, but I must be true to what I love and how I choose to live my life.

If you haven’t been reading my posts, I’m going to briefly give you history as to why I love sharing my life and how God has been an awesome inspiration and guide in my life. When I was 8 I knew I wanted to give my life to God. I believed everything I heard in church about Jesus dying on the cross for our sins and being raised from the dead. I still do. I know it sounds crazy to people, but when you have the faith and see things that happen in your life that are completely unexplained, I cannot deny that God is real! Anyway, I went up to the altar when asked if anyone wanted to give their life to God. I was crying and felt like I was home. Shortly after, I asked to be baptized and I was. I knew that God had something for me in life, even at 8 years old. So, of course, like any child, you go through different stages, you fall away from what your parents teach you and I even fell away from my faith and didn’t live for God for quite some time. There were good times and bad times, but overall, I still felt like something was missing. So to keep a long story short (I know it’s hard for me to do!) I ended up coming back to my faith and started living for God.

Publicly I struggled living for God fearing that others would judge me for my beliefs, until just recently when I decided that I can either keep God’s greatness to myself (which is selfish) or share His love and greatness with others as He would have me do. So I said, “It’s time to start caring about others the way God cares for me.” I won’t stop and I won’t look back. I know that I’m not perfect and have a lot of growing to do, but I feel that if I let my light shine and live a life according to God’s word, then I just might be able to encourage others to do the same thing! And after hearing this song by Britt Nicole and reading the lyrics, I became even more inspired to let my light shine to the world, whether they are ready or not!

“Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:15-16)

Britt Nicole – Ready or Not ft Lecrae (one of my fave Christian rappers!)