I Have Seen Myself

AnalaiahMy oldest child, my 8 year old daughter Analaiah, reminds me of myself when I was younger. Some of her little ways where she acts out is definitely from my husband when he was little (something he agrees with), but she has a lot of my ways. She is the oldest (same with me of my parent’s children) and she sometimes feels left out. Some people pick on her at school, telling her she’s ugly (she definitely isn’t), as they did with me. She gets her feelings hurt easily, just like I do too. She is a sweet girl and is always trying to show affection by giving hugs to everyone (something my mom tells me I did all the time).

I see so much of myself in her, but yesterday, I saw something that was exactly like me. The person trying to give encouragement when no one else will. The person trying to make you feel a part of something when others make you feel left out. So we were watching home videos yesterday at my sister’s 20th birthday party and there was a part where I was singing at a wedding. I was so scared to sing it then, but had a good time because I did it. I don’t mind watching myself sing, but when everyone else also has to watch it, I feel so embarrassed. I am definitely not the best singer in the world, but I do have a lot of confidence that I am a pretty good singer. Anyway, because my daughter knew exactly how I was feeling at the moment (I had turned around completely and ignored my video and everyone’s response on purpose), she turned to me and tells me, “Mommy, you’re the best singer ever! You need to be on TV singing!” She knew in that moment that I was feeling embarrassed and had to give me comfort in knowing that I am still a good singer if no one ever says it.

She has made me realize that even though I am a mother to four kids, I can still do what it is that I love and be great at it. She has also shown me how to be more encouraging to her so that she can grow into an amazing adult that she will be one day. She has also shown me that no matter what I have done wrong as a parent or person, she still believes in me and has not lost that innocence and fire in her eyes of being an encouraging spirit! I thank God for her everyday, all of my children, and will learn to see what is in them and nurture it and help them to grow stronger! I love being their mom and I love that I have seen myself in each and every one of them too!

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

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