Being a mother takes courage! Heck, being a parent takes courage! But as a mother, I would like to speak from a mother’s point of view; my point of view. Fathers, you may read this and learn something about the mother of your children, or may even simply relate to some things too!
As a 30 year old mom(I’m proud of my age!), with 4 kids, I have seen the many different stages, I myself, have gone through. When I first became a mom, I didn’t understand that other mothers were trying to tell me what worked for them as they parented their children only to help me out. When I was a young(er) mother, I shifted into some sort of autopilot mode (in my mind) and thought I knew exactly what was best for my child and no one’s “advice” mattered (maybe except for my mom’s). I thought that every one was telling me what to do and how to do it and I somehow felt like in their eyes, I was doing it all wrong. But that’s not true. As a “seasoned mother” I’d like to call it, I can never do everything perfect and I can look back on how many silly mistakes I have made, and then the different advice I let slip away because I was in a mindset of “You don’t know what’s best for my child, only I do”.
Being a mother is hard. With all of the responsibilities and different changes my body went through, the ups and downs of my mood, not to mention trying not to feel like I lost my identity from what was once cool, I was not in a mindset of hearing all the “negativity” surrounding me. Growing UP is what I had to do, with each kid that came along. I started to see that all kids are different. Two are never the same, but some of the advice I was once hearing started to make more sense. I started to see that what the more “Seasoned Mothers” were telling me actually worked. I also saw that I could modify them to work in different ways for my very different kids. Now I feel like I want to hear everyone’s advice and opinions on different issues because I feel I can benefit from others experiences too.
The lesson I learned is that it really takes courage to be a mother, while hearing all of the advice, and trying to learn at the same time. I learned that when someone tells me to do something a certain way, I definitely consider it and try it. If it doesn’t work, it’s not harmful, it just helps you to see outside the box. After all, those books about being a mom and all of that advice had to come from somewhere (or some seasoned moms), right?!
My advice to all of you young mothers out there that think someone is trying to tell you how to raise your child, remember that not all mothers are there to hurt you or put you down. They are simply sharing their experiences with you and letting you know what worked for them. Most moms are trying to save you those long sleepless nights or frustrations you could avoid by sharing their stories. Instead of turning from them, turn to the advice and if it works, great! If it doesn’t work, maybe you can modify it to fit your preferences, or just do away with it completely! You really never know until you try it and maybe, just maybe, you can pass along what worked for you to new moms or your future girls for when they become moms!