I Interviewed My Hubby, Here It Is, FINALLY!

Me and my husband 2009.

Me and my husband 2009.

I would like to first say thank you to all of my readers for being so patient with me! I finished my last class for my Associate’s Degree this Sunday (March 31, 2013) and was preparing for the finals! It was a long, hard journey; from my husband losing his job, to us beginning school, me going back to work after 7 years of being a stay at home mom, my husband getting another job, going through marital issues, going through financial issues, working those issues out, having our 4th child (yeah we really worked it out!), my husband getting an even better job that definitely pays the bills, and then both of us finishing our school. We both will “walk” together in the graduating ceremony in June, a day before my 30th birthday and 2 months before our 10 year wedding anniversary. So, it took forever for me to have the time to finish this interview, and FINALLY, here it is! I can also resume posts for all of you! I have to be honest, I miss sharing my stories with you! Well, without talking your ears off even more, here is the interview! It’s lenghty, maybe because my husband can also talk your ears off, but only to those he’s comfortable around! And yes, I got his approval before posting this. Here it is:

    Emeteria:

How important is marriage to you, especially with the way marriage is viewed today?

When we only had 3 kids and our first vacation to Disneyland and the beach, Spring 2011

When we only had 3 kids and our first vacation to Disneyland and the beach, Spring 2011

    Leotis:

Marriage is very important because you have a new generation and with the fast paced world it is today, everything is not traditional anymore. Basically, nowadays it’s okay to cheat; it’s accepted more than it was when I was growing up. Marriage is important to me because I want to keep the same values as God founded marriage to be on not saying that we’re all perfect because we all make mistakes, but if we love God like we’re supposed to, then those mistakes we know about, we would try hard not to make. Right now I think people just don’t care about themselves, about their spouses, about their children, about anything. Everybody is only out for themselves, marriage is not about love anymore, and marriage is about “oh she’s my wife, oh that’s my husband, and I can’t leave because of the kids”. It’s not what it was founded on, the foundation of God, that’s why it’s important for me to keep the foundation because God founded marriage whether you believe it or not.

    Emeteria:

Do you miss the single life? Why yes? Why not?

    Leotis:

To be honest, sometimes I do, because I miss hanging out, not saying that I can’t hang out, but sometimes marriage is tough and when you’re single, you don’t have to worry about another person. When you’re married you also have to put yourself aside for your spouse and sometimes it’s hard for me to do that because I’m so used to doing for me and now that I have kids, it’s extra tough because it’s not just about me, it’s about my wife and kids. So, if I do miss the single life, I miss not having responsibilities, but would I trade it for the world? No, because I love being married. There’s nothing greater than waking up to someone who loves you that cares for you no matter what happens to you and no matter what you’ve been through, no matter what life has brought you, you have someone in your corner and I wouldn’t trade marriage to be single for anything.

    Emeteria:

How important do you feel your role is as a husband?

Me and my husband 2008.

Me and my husband 2008.

    Leotis:

My role to me as a husband is very important, because you are the leader of your family. When you become married you become one, and as a man it is your responsibility to lift your wife, to support your wife, to support her emotional needs, her physical needs, her spiritual needs and her health as well, so my role as a husband is very important because it’s not just me I have to support my spouse. When you don’t support your spouse or when you mentally or physically abuse your spouse, you are pretty much not worth anything because that’s not what a husband is. A husband is not a man that sits on his butt saying, “Give me a beer, cook my dinner, I work all day, you take care of the kids” which most men are nowadays, and I have to admit I was like that before because I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. I’m not saying that I’m perfect, but I do have room to improve to be a better husband and a better role model and someone my wife and kids can look up to, no matter what age they are.

    Emeteria:

How important do you feel your role is as a father?

Celebrating our youngest 2 girl's birthday party 2013!

Celebrating our youngest 2 girl’s birthday party 2013!

    Leotis:

My role as a father is important because you have someone else’s life in your hands until they get to a certain age of their life. When they get married and have children you still have a responsibility for your kids because they’re your kids. I have three girls and one boy, and for my girls, I want them to know that their dad loves their mom very much and I want them to know that they might run into some “dirt bags” in their life, because I was a “dirt bag”. Some guys are really going to break their heart, some guys might invite them to have sex, and they might fall for it and the guy may not be what she thought they were going to be. So as a father, I want my daughters to know that not all men are that way. There are some men that truly care and truly love a woman the way a woman is supposed to be loved. As a father to my girls, I have to show them that fatherly love. For my son, I know that there’s peer pressure as a boy to keep up with the other boys to have sex with tons of girls and to be the man of the block because I was under that pressure. If I could take anything back, I would have stayed a virgin until I got married because when I let my friends and society influence me, I lost hope. Plus I didn’t have a good role model and I always looked up to the bad influences. That’s why it’s important for me to be a good role model because you never know what your kids are looking up to.

    Emeteria:

On a scale of 1 to 10, how easy is it for you to be a father of four kids?

    Leotis:

I would say a 5. The reason I say 5 is because every day is a new challenge. I have four different personalities I deal with and we haven’t even begun the teenage years yet. I know what my kids have done for the time they’ve been here and I don’t know what’s going to happen as they get older, but as they get older I feel that parenting is never going to be easy. Parenting is always hard because you can steer your children in the right direction all day long, but your kid might make choices that may feel good for them, but we know in our heart that it’s not, but they have to learn from their mistakes just like I had to learn from my mistakes. I say about a 5 because you can never have parenting down. I don’t care how many books you read, how many seminars you attend, how many parenting skills you have, you can never have parenting down because there’s always something different with your kids.

    Emeteria:

What is the most memorable story you have to tell, so far, about your family?

Easter Sunday 2013

Easter Sunday 2013

    Leotis:

That’s a hard one because I have a lot. The most memorable story I could ever have is the day that I saw my wife walk down the aisle. We planned and we talked when we were dating saying over and over, “We’re gonna get married” and honestly, I was scared to death, but that was the greatest day of my life and that’s something I will always cherish. Also watching my children be born and brought into this world by my wife. Those are the greatest memories I ever had. Holding my kids for the first time, feeding them the bottle, hearing their cry, able to see them crawl and walk, and hear their first words, “Mama and Dada”, those are the greatest memories I’ve ever had in my life.

    Emeteria:

After 13 years together and married 10 years this August, there has to be something your wife does that might annoy you even slightly. What is something your wife does that gets on your nerves?

Who really looks mean?  LOL!  Me and my hubby 2007!

Who really looks mean? LOL! Me and my hubby 2007!

    Leotis:

My wife is mean. She’s very mean. When she’s mad, she gets really mad and that’s the only thing that gets on my nerves because she gets mad easily. I try not to get mad because she’s mad, but when she’s mad then I get mad because she’s mad and I don’t want her mad. But a lot of the times I make her mad, but she just gets too mad at me. (I’m laughing the whole time he’s answering this question because it’s so true and he keeps saying the word MAD, and I have to admit, I feel bad that I get so angry at times, so I’ve tried to lighten up A LOT)

    Emeteria:

What’s something you really like about your wife? This is your chance to make up for the last answer, so I’m not mad lol.

    Leotis:

The biggest thing I like about my wife is her personality. There are tons of physical things I like. (Oh boy!) Most importantly is her honesty. Even though we went through a couple of things, she was still honest enough to accept who I was and who she was through it all. Most importantly I like her personality, her honesty, and her encouragement.

    Emeteria:

What advice would you like to give any fathers who may be reading this?

L to R --> Tajanaiah, Isaiah, Analaiah, Nevaiah (baby)

L to R –> Tajanaiah, Isaiah, Analaiah, Nevaiah (baby)

    Leotis:

Just take it day by day and most importantly, pray. You can’t do anything without God, I don’t care who you are or what you think you are, you can’t do it without God. I’ve tried, and it’s been nothing but a disaster every time. So the best thing I can say is to put God first and pray every day for your family, for your wife, for yourself, because we are under attack constantly.

    Emeteria:

What advice would you like to give any husbands who may be reading this?

    Leotis:

The advice I can give is the same advice I need. It’s to put yourself last and put your wife first. I know men can work hard and have long days and just don’t feel like being bothered, I know I’m like that all the time. It’s not like I try to be that way, it’s just sometimes I want my solitude. I have to also think about it too, because your wife does a lot of stuff whether she’s a stay at home mom, whether you think she does stuff or not all day. Being a stay at home mom is a challenge. I was a stay at home dad for a while, and it’s not easy. So, we can’t say it’s easy. My wife still works, comes home and cooks, and takes care of the kids when I work my graveyard shift, lets me sleep and pulls her hair out while also go to school. The best thing to do is to put your wife first. Put her needs first, don’t put your needs above hers, put your needs first and your kids. Be patient because your day of solitude will come. If you do right first, everything will be better in the end. Listen and be slow to speak. Most importantly show your spouse love. If you feel she’s lacking, or if she feels she is not getting the love she deserves, show her love. Say I love you, call her spontaneously, or send her flowers or cards, things I need to do myself. Give her a nice hug; rub on the back, neck, shoulders, or feet, just to show your wife that you appreciate her.

    Emeteria:

What advice would you like to give wives from a husband’s perspective?

Me and my babe 2010

Me and my babe 2010

    Leotis:

Stick by your husband, whether it’s a bad decision or a good decision. Encourage your husband, don’t put him down, let him know you appreciate him. Some wives don’t even tell their men they appreciate them, and then they wonder why their men find love from someone else. It’s the same thing with women, you have to appreciate your woman, you know, vice versa. You have to show you appreciate your man, give him a day to himself, a day to wash the car or something he likes. Just the same for a man, give your woman a day to go get her hair and nails done, a shopping day, etc. Most importantly pray for your man and ask God to show your man the love you have for him.

    Emeteria:

What advice would you like to mothers from a father’s perspective?

    Leotis:

Well, I can’t give too much advice on how to be a mom because there is a difference. I guess I would say to have patience and take it one day at a time. That’s all I can really say from my perspective. (On the audio, our youngest daughter started yelling her demands at her older siblings and she’s only one. Hilariously enough, we had to end the interview there, which was the last question anyway!)

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “I Interviewed My Hubby, Here It Is, FINALLY!

  1. Great Interview… My favorite part is ” She gets really mad”…lol. My husband would probably say the same thing. I too should lighten up…Thanks for opening up to the world and sharing your experience.

    • Thanks for reading! Yes, lol, my fave part too. I always find that I have gotten mad often, but life is too short to be mad all the time. I realize we’re different and have different needs. Makes everything so much better and both needs getting met!

  2. Emeteria,
    What a beautiful name. Thank you for signing on to follow my blog. I just got the little one to sleep and I have been enjoying reading your posts, especially this one. I love and admire how you and your husband stand firm in Christ. You two are a wonderful example of what God designed marriage to look like!!

    • Thank you Misha! I really enjoy reading your blog as well! I stumbled upon it yesterday and it’s something that I am definitely relating to. I can’t wait to read more of your posts!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s